Where Does My Road Go?

I’m riding on Cancer Avenue. I can take any turn at any time while here to keep my perspective fresh.

Brrrrrnng…brrrrrnng…

I have a bell on my bike; a basket, too. After not riding at all last season and gaining weight, I thought my biking days were over. I donated my mountain bike to a local charity in early spring. Shortly after that, Tim’s mom donated her genuine vintage cruiser to me. I’ve been around the block once or twice with the kids but the bike has otherwise sat, lonely, in the garage. Yesterday, after putting the bell and basket on, Tim insisted we ride to the park together. I wasn’t in the best state after hearing from the genetic counselor but I knew that was a good idea. Tim was wearing shorts and a short-sleeved t-shirt; while I had on pants and long sleeves (lymphedema precautions).

We took a short ride through the park; there were times Tim rode close to me and had his hand on my back. Loving. Supportive. Pushing me (?!). Just what I need. It’s a little embarrassing to ride with a retired professional when it’s a struggle to get up the smallest of hills – ok, not even hills, more like slight inclines – but he was gracious and encouraging. I took an amazing nap when we got home and felt much clearer in the evening.

A tisket – A tasket…

I loaded up my basket to try it again today. My playlist titled “Prozac Mix” kept me company. I went three times as far (and maybe three times as slow, maybe not). There were a few minutes I forgot I had cancer as I felt the cool air engulf me. I would come back to reality as I hit a bump in the road or traveled over uneven pavement causing a tug on my sutures or shooting pains. Um, 13 days post breast surgery feels way better on even ground.
I was so tired on my way home. Due to construction, I couldn’t take a direct route back and ended up on a detour that included a hill. A real one. Sonofabitch. I stopped, drank, took deep breaths to rest and refresh. I considered my options: walk the bike up, call for a ride, lay down on the sidwalk, throw the bike into the construction zone. Then I stood up on those pedals, added the extra distance and made it. Tired and exhilarated, I walked into the house and felt like a champion.

Lemmon-Holton Cancer Pavilion garden

Part of my road includes cancer, yes. I’m on it and I’m going to keep moving. This has led me back to parts of myself I thought were lost. I don’t feel like I’m lost though, I feel like I’m home.